Fending off February.

As February trundles along, my strength begins to return and with it a renewed sense of drive. It is amazing how two months of convalescence can spur one into action. Everywhere I turn, I see things that I wish to achieve and Matthew is constantly reminding me not to “over do it’” but the body is a miraculous thing and it finds ways to tell me when I have done enough. So between bouts of rest when I read, write and answer queries for our accountant, I set about making sense of the garden that has remained untended for the last two years - the chickens have done a good job of keeping it clear of too much growth, but it stands as a compacted memory of a ‘potager-gone-by’ and so I slowly weed , and dig and plan. Little by little the new emerges in my mind, but littler by littler it begins to emerge in real life too. I prioritise the asparagus bed ( a long standing aspiration), and planting the blackcurrants that struggled through last summer in pots. My body however screams back and after a few days of what I thought was doing “just a little here and there”, I have strained my stomach muscles and have to halt work. It is a situation that I am finding increasingly frustrating, and frustration is not an emotion that I deal well with. It had been 11 weeks since my last operation, surely I should be able to partake in my life as usual by now! But apparently, the universe has other plans for me at the moment - I am back to sitting around the house feeling increasingly unproductive.

The weather has turned grey and wet again. The continuous rainfall even puts paid to hedge-cutting for the time being as water lays in every crevice of land; streams break their banks and anyone would be forgiven for believing that we had a plethora of ponds dotted around the farm in places that just days ago, were fields. The rain continues steadily into the month and the cows outside look sad plodding around in the mud, the dogs lay by the fire whimpering intermittently at the downpours, and the cats take turns jumping up at the windows to see if the deluge had passed - none of us are enjoying this time, we all turn to each day with hopes of Spring. The snowdrops are doing their best to stand up to the showers but even the their heads are dipped as if hiding from the endless days of precipitation. In spite of the first sightings of daffodils, nothing appears to lift the spirits. The forecast continues to show sun and warmth on the horizon but there comes a point where one begins to loose faith in the predictive powers of France Meteo.

Our frustration at the relentless deluge that has become February, leaves us rooting around for things to do indoors so once the cows are fed and everyone has water, Matthew starts work on the utility room. The broken tumble-dryer is removed, making room for a sink and worktop - this will be the farm sink, where oily, greasy, mucky hands are washed and lamb milk is mixed - the messy jobs that we try and keep away from the rest of the house - every farmhouse needs a farm sink and workspace. In a couple of days the first stage of the new utility room is complete. I have aspirations of removing the large wall cupboard and having new cupboards built, painted in bright soul-uplifting colours, but these things all take time, moments stolen from the farm on grey Sunday afternoons - filling the house with colour to fend away the heavy clouds.

By the end of the month the warmth has returned. The early Spring sunshine is invigorating and everyone is full of its energy. I sow my early seeds: onions, chilli peppers, marigolds as the cats frisk around my ankles; I pot on autumn sown sweetpeas, young apple trees grafted last year, achillea; my little cold frame is soon full. Matthew drags out the muck spreader and begins to repairs it ready for use, a job that he has muttered about throughout the winter, but like so many jobs, is so much more appealing when the sun is patting you on the back. I am able to return to the hedge-cutting as the ground beneath us begins to firm up in its dryness; the end of hedge-cutting season is looming, we have to finish by the 15th of March unless the government issues a derogation due to the excessive rainfall, extending the season, but as it stands at this moment, I have just two weeks left to complete what we can. There are certainly fields that we will not be able to finish as there is still too much water laying in them - I focus on the fields that we can access and wait to hear news of an extension. As I tractor around the farm, the impact of recent storms and blustery weather becomes apparent, numerous trees and their limbs lay on top of flattened fences - we have an extensive fencing job ahead of us in order to prepare for the Spring turn out. As the daylight hours begin to stretch out and the temperatures creep up, we start to turn our minds to putting the cows out onto the fresh Spring grass after the long winter indoors - it has become one of my favourite moments on the farming calendar, watching the cows and calves skip out into the open air, and so the preparation work is exciting, knowing that those days are almost upon us.